


The Wedding

by oOAchilliaOo



Series: Shenko Ever After [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:43:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oOAchilliaOo/pseuds/oOAchilliaOo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After The Proposal comes the wedding and when you’re a galactic superhero that comes with its own unique set of issues. After all it’s not like the first two human spectres can just sneak off in the Normandy when the entire galaxy is watching can they? </p>
<p>Or can they?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Shepard tapped her forefinger against her lips, one arm curled across her stomach, her other elbow rested on it, tapping. One, two. Her gaze was entirely focused on the package in front of her. It was at least as large as Grunt’s tank, maybe a little smaller, but somehow infinitely more precious. Her mind, quick as lightning, was attempting to calculate and account for the innumerable risks that surrounded this particular task. Get the box to the apartment, she told herself. That’s all you have to do. But it wasn’t that simple, nothing ever was. 

Miranda stood beside her, hip cocked, one arm dangling by her side, the other on her hip, just as focused on the package as Shepard, clearly mimicking her thought patterns just in case a back up should be needed. On the other side stood Tali, omni-tool active, attempting to plot the most likely course through the Citadel. 

“Are you sure this is necessary, Shepard?” Tali said, her three fingers flying across the length of her forearm. Simultaneously, the two human females twisted their heads to stare at the Quarian. 

“Absolutely,” Shepard said, her voice firm, resolute. 

Miranda nodded sharply in agreement. “We can’t take any chances.”

They both looked back to the box. Tali sighed and returned to her work, more than slightly mystified. 

The door to their little cubby hole opened behind them. Liara, Garrus, Kasumi and Jack strolled through. Shepard turned to face them, her back to the box, pleased to see that they came prepared; Kasumi and Liara with their SMGs, Jack with her shotgun and Garrus with his beloved sniper rifle (coincidently the one he’d so say ‘beaten’ her with but at least that meant he was damn good with it). She herself had only brought her hand cannon since she hadn’t anticipated trouble when they’d left that morning. Tali didn’t have a single weapon, she would have to rely on her combat drone, but no matter, it could still be done. 

As if they were standing in Normandy’s briefing room, the group formed a circle in front of her. A team she had carefully selected for this highly crucial mission. She stepped forward, sliding easily into the commander role. 

“Ok,” she said. “I think you all know what this is about. This.” She gestured behind her in the general direction of the box. “This has to make it to my apartment without incident, not a bump, not a scratch. Clear?” Her gaze flicked to each member of her team in turn as they nodded their assent. She nodded with them. 

“Ok. First things first. Tali, do we have a route?” 

On cue, the Quarian stepped forward, projecting a map of the Citadel into the middle of the empty space. A few quick taps on her omni-tool added a red line to the map. 

“From what I can see this is probably our best chance.” She indicated the red line. “It’s not the quickest way but it takes more of the backstreets so there will be less people. These particular backstreets aren’t too small, so we should get through with minimal damage.” A few movements with her fingers added a blue line alongside the red. “This is the quickest route.” 

Shepard tapped her finger twice against her lips. 

“We’ll take the first option,” she said. The blue line instantly vanished, allowing her to clearly see the red line. She took a moment to mentally map the route, lining the holographic map up with her knowledge of the real thing, virtually picturing their progress through the Citadel. 

“Let’s see…” She examined her team, sizing them up, trying various combinations in her head before settling on the best strategy. “Kasumi? Reconnaissance. I want to know exactly what we’re heading into.” 

Under the hood, Kasumi smiled, and Shepard had a feeling the sweet-romantic-at-heart master thief was probably enjoying this entire situation a little too much. “No problem, Shep.”

“This,” Shepard activated her own omni-tool, the image of a dark haired man coming into view with a few quick movements of her fingers. “is Subject A. On no account should Subject A come into contact with the package. If possible the entire operation should be kept from him.” She tilted her head and examined the picture for a moment before continuing. “Garrus, that’s your responsibility. Find him, which shouldn’t be too difficult, and make sure he doesn’t come within five miles of our route.” 

“Not a problem,” Garrus said. At a gesture from Shepard, he turned and immediately left the room, ready to go about his task. 

“The rest of you are escort. I’ll take point, Tali, take my six, Miranda, the left flank, Liara the right, and Jack, you take the rear.” Her team, obedient as ever, immediately moved into position. She took one more sweeping glance at her team, assessing their mental state, making sure they were ready, prepared. 

Kasumi’s voice came crackling over the comm. 

“In position, Shep.”

“All right,” she said calmly. “Let’s do this.” 

Before giving the signal to move out, Shepard took one deep breath, bringing her senses to the forefront of her mind, entering that state of hyperawareness that she was capable of donning during a mission. She’d be lying if she said that this time that state wasn’t peppered with more than the average amount of nervousness, but no matter. She would succeed at all costs. 

She drew her hand cannon from her hip and with practiced speed checked the thermal clip, cocking it twice, just to be sure. Raising her forearm, fist formed, she wordlessly flicked two fingers forward. As one the team moved out: Miranda and Liara carefully supporting the box between them. 

“All clear so far, Shep,” Kasumi said as they exited the room. “Moving on up.”

“Copy that,” she replied without thinking, her senses aquiver as she tried to anticipate disaster, her eyes completely focused on what was ahead. As they rounded the first corner, she called a halt and raised her hand to her ear.

“Garrus?” she called into the comm. 

“I see him, Shepard, we’re on the Presidium. You’re all clear,” Garrus relayed back. 

She was only slightly relieved, still faced with the problem of actually getting the precious package back to the apartment. 

The streets were clear, but Shepard maintained her state of high alert even as the Tiberius Towers came into view, expecting disaster to strike right up to the very last minute. The elevator ride up to her apartment seemed to take forever and she couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t somehow bugged or broken or something. 

Finally, after what felt like the longest elevator ride ever (even longer than the one up to the Council Chambers) they reached the top floor. As the door to the apartment closed safely behind them and the precious package she allowed herself one small sigh of relief. 

“EDI,” she barked into the comm. “Those extra security measures we talked about?”

“One moment, Shepard,” replied EDI’s cool crisp voice.

It had taken some time to bring EDI back online after the Reaper war. More precisely, it had taken Tali, Garrus, Liara, Kasumi, Kaidan and Miranda almost three months to achieve it and they were good, real good. The best even, and it had still taken all that time. She’d barely seen Kaidan at all for the duration, he’d stumble in at maybe three, four in the morning, adorably rumpled, his eyes squinting from looking at the screens all day, and he’d literally fall into the bed beside her; staying awake just long enough to plant a soft kiss on her forehead before falling immediately into a deep deep sleep from which he would wake after only a few hours with some new idea burning in his brain. 

Worth it though, totally worth it and in their genius her team of tech nerds had managed to link EDI to the apartment so her programming now ran throughout the Normandy, throughout her body and throughout the apartment. It had proved useful on a number of occasions and not just for turning on the heating the moment Shepard disembarked. 

The mechanism on the door behind them turned red even as Shepard heard the clunk of the newly reinforced wardrobe door in the guest bedroom opening. 

“Move,” she said to her team, jerking her head in the direction of the wardrobe and together they manoeuvred the box in. 

“Lock it down, EDI,” she said into the comm as soon as she was assured that the precious cargo was safely sequestered in its pre-determined hidey-hole. Immediately the door swung shut and Shepard waited to hear the bolts lock into place and the whirr of the climate control system kicking in. 

“Mission accomplished,” she said into her comm, letting Garrus and Kasumi know that it was safe to abandon their posts. 

Now that she could no longer see the precious package, the doubt started to creep in again. As she trailed an absentminded hand across the sealed doorway, she couldn’t help but ask softly if the others thought she had made the right choice. 

“Yes, Shepard,” Miranda said wearily, for the hundredth time. “You did.” 

“It’s not too…” she paused, searching for the correct word. Whatever the right word was, she never found it, because the chorus of No! nearly deafened her. 

“Ok,” she said, willing to let it go for the moment. “Ok. Thanks for your help, guys, see you tomorrow.” 

As soon as they left, Shepard stepped into the living room, and slumped on the sofa, exhausted. Granted, no actual fighting had been done, but sometimes the unfulfilled expectation of disaster and the resultant adrenaline fall out could be even more draining. 

She breathed deeply, trying to ease her tense muscles. If she was honest, she knew there was no chance of that happening until this entire thing was over. She closed her eyes. 

Behind her, she heard the door open, the deliberate military step, and felt strong firm hands on her shoulders, gradually easing the tension away. She threw her head back, looking up at him. 

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he said back, smiling down at her, his hands still massaging her shoulders. “What’s up?” He could feel the stress in her muscles beneath his fingers and see it in the frown on her forehead. 

“Nothing really,” she said, unable to resist grinning. “I just picked up my wedding dress.” 

He raised his eyebrows, a little surprised and grinned back at her. 

“You’re actually wearing a dress?”

“Har har,” she replied sarcastically. 

She let his fingers work their magic for a moment. “How did it go for you today?” she asked, pulling him round onto the sofa beside her. He settled next to her, throwing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close, continuing to rub his thumb soothingly up and down between her shoulder and her elbow. 

“Ok, I guess. Joker was being a pain in the ass but we got him measured for his suit in the end.” 

“Good,” she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose in an effort to stall the encroaching headache she could feel threatening behind her eyes. 

“Ok,” she said letting out a whoosh of breath. “What if we put Wrex and Bakara here?” 

She tapped a few keys on her omni-tool and two holographic pins floated up from the display in front of her. They moved fluidly across the series of little circles shown on the display and settled down on the outside of a random circle. Two other pins rose to make room for them. 

“And put the Primarch and his wife over there.” 

The newly raised pins began their trek back across the circles and took their place on the outside of another circle. If one looked closely enough one could see the pins were marked with tiny holographic text that read ‘Primarch’ and ‘Primarch’s wifey’.

The man seated next to Shepard leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees as he studied the display projected onto the coffee table in front of them.

“No good,” he said after a moment. “That puts the Krogans too close to the Salarians.”

“Gah!” Shepard threw her hands up into the air and slumped back onto the sofa. “Then I officially give up!” 

Now that she thought about it, it had all started with that dammed council meeting. She should have put her foot down right then and there but oh no! She’d let in all the thoughts about representing humanity and doing the right thing and showing support for the new council and she’d figured it was only three extra guests. But then, once word had gotten out that the council was going, the media had gotten involved in a big way, they’d pried and pried and pried, and eventually someone had found out that an Admiral of the Migrant Fleet was going to be in attendance. Then someone else had discovered that the clan leader of Tuchanka was going. Then the Turians had kicked off claiming that they were being under-represented at an event that had already become about so much more than just two people who loved each other to the point that Shepard was beginning to wonder whose wedding it even was anyway. 

Shepard had tried; she really had, to make the point that both the Quarian Admiral and Clan Leader of Tuchanka were treasured friends and valued members of her crew and were invited by virtue of those attributes rather than any kind of job title or political ploy. 

It had made absolutely no difference whatsoever. 

In a matter of weeks, the guest list had swelled. At first it had just been the Council and then the Primarch. Which Shepard didn’t mind too much since she liked the Primarch and all just maybe not enough to drop him and his wife a voluntary invite. However, this had annoyed the Salarians who insisted that the Dalatrass be invited. Then the Dalatrass had insisted that she couldn’t possibly travel anywhere without her entourage of six attendants. This had brought the Asari into it who claimed that they were underrepresented and before Shepard knew it, a troupe of four matriarchs had been invited. Finally, the Admiralty Board had decided that all of them should be there to represent the Quarians and Shepard had serious doubts about her ability to refrain from punching Han’gerrel repeatedly in the face the moment he showed up. She’d jokingly asked Wrex whether he thought the entire Urdnot clan should be in attendance in order to accurately represent the Krogans and he’d gone really really quiet for a moment, which had really really scared her until he’d laughed and clapped her on the back and informed her that he and Grunt were more than enough Krogan. 

Privately, she agreed. 

She wasn’t completely sure why they needed to be doing the seating chart anyway. It wasn’t like they’d picked the venue, or the food or the guests or… anything, really. 

That had all been Asha. Asha was an Alliance PR representative. One of the best, apparently. All Shepard knew was that the woman had a perpetually positive outlook that was so ‘sunny’ in its disposition that it pissed her off just a little bit more each time she saw her. She was also absolutely delighted to be responsible for planning what she called ‘the wedding of the age’ and, oh, wasn’t their story just so terribly romantic? 

Well no, no it wasn’t. It had involved a lot of pain and heartbreak and almost the destruction of the entire fucking galaxy as they knew it. It had involved a lot of bullets and blood, it had involved losing friends. Hell, she had actually been bleeding and surrounded by wreckage when he’d proposed. 

Shepard wasn’t an expert on romance by any means, but she was fairly sure that most romantic story telling didn’t require vast amounts of blood and wholesale destruction. 

More’s the pity. 

 

She wondered if it would it be considered ‘romantic’ if she had Kaidan kill their assigned wedding planner simply because she pissed Shepard off? 

Because if blood-plus-explosions-equals-romance she was pretty sure she could get Kaidan on board with that plan if she had to. 

And then she could plan her own wedding herself, as she’d originally wanted to. 

The first order of business being throwing the damn seating chart out of the window. 

The hand on her knee interrupted the mental image of the holographic interface speeding down the building and shattering into a million pieces. He squeezed her knee reassuringly. 

He activated his own omni-tool, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth “What if we take these two pins?” Two pins rose from the oblong table at the top of the interface. “And these ones?” Another twenty or so pins rose to join the two already in the air. “And take them... over... here somewhere. In something that looks like... that?”

The grin bloomed across her race as the twenty-two pins floated away from the concentric circles and filed into a very familiar, very unique shape. 

“Kaidan Alenko,” she said slowly, still grinning. “Are you suggesting we elope?” 

He grinned back at her. “Maybe?”

If possible, her smile got even wider as she entertained that notion. They could probably do it, even with the entire galaxy watching. The idea of being able to marry Kaidan Alenko the way she really wanted to had such appeal. Also, if she could somehow get a recording of Asha’s disappointed face when they failed to turn up, that would definitely be the cherry on the proverbial cake. Except... 

Except there would be a lot of disappointed faces. 

A lot of people, a lot of civilians, were ‘following’ their wedding. A lot of people wanted to see their hero get her ‘happily ever after’. Which thus far had sucked a relatively huge amount of ass, but she understood. She did. Those tens of thousands of people had lost daughters, husbands, brothers, sons… They hadn’t been trained to deal with the horrors of war like she had. They couldn’t compartmentalise like she could and she could see how those people might need to see a ‘happily ever after’ in action. Just so they could believe that it was possible. 

She couldn’t let those people down like that. She just couldn’t. 

She sighed. Who knew that victory could be so hard? 

“We can’t, Kaidan. The ordinary people. They need us.” 

His face fell. It was entirely likely that for one glorious moment he’d just been thinking of them. 

“I know,” he muttered, bitterly. “I know. It’s just...” 

She understood. “Yeah, I know.” 

And then she had the epiphany. She had had a few epiphanies in her career, that one about using the nearby fuel cells as a makeshift bomb had been pretty good, but this one had them all beat hands down. 

“What if?” She began, once she was sure the smile was no longer visible. “What if we took those pins to that place for a while and then brought them back to... here?” The twenty-two pins sailed back to the concentric circles. 

It took him a moment, but when the realisation crested in his eyes and the smile began to break over his face, she decided it was worth the effort. 

“Commander Shepard, are you suggesting we have two weddings?” 

She grinned at him. 

“Why the fuck not? We could have one, the real one, on board the Normandy with the important people and then the big stupid fairytale ridiculousness afterwards with the unimportant people.” 

He leaned forward once again, bracing his forearms on his knees, and studied the interface. 

“It’d be difficult,” he said after a moment. “Keeping it secret, I mean. We’d have to make sure no-one noticed the Normandy leaving. Or that we’re on board.” 

She leaned forward, matching his position. 

“Yeah, but we have a team of the best... and I’m sure they can think of a few things.” 

The next day, Asha felt like all her dreams had come true. Commander Shepard was suddenly agreeing to everything. Giant fifteen-tiered cake? Check! Swan ice sculptures? Check! Rose pink colour scheme? Check! 

She didn’t know, of course, that the reason for this was that Shepard no longer cared. She would formally be marrying Kaidan Alenko hours before the circus began. That, and she had discovered that her time with Asha seemed to go so much faster when she just agreed with anything the woman said. 

Not that this new plan wasn’t without its difficulties. 

Shepard spent all day with Asha, agreeing to whatever she said, and all night up with the crew, planning the real wedding. Granted, planning the second wedding was less like planning a wedding and more like planning a mission. Shepard couldn’t decide whether she preferred planning the real one because it was the real one, or because it was like planning a mission. 

Credit where credit was due, her crew were working wonders. Cover stories, fake signals, misinformation. To anyone who cared to look into the records, the Normandy was obviously docked in an Alliance station for routine maintenance. In reality, she was hiding in a nearby planetary orbit under Joker and EDI’s care. Miranda had secretly filmed the ‘hair trials’ Asha had insisted on. Shepard had had no clue what a ‘hair trial’ was, and once she’d been forcibly introduced to the idea she could not, for the life of her, understand why it was necessary. 

Well, unless your friend was recording it so she and your other friends could do something something something to the metadata that would render them able to broadcast the footage days later but make it look like it was happening live. 

But besides that, she couldn’t see the reason. 

Kasumi, ever the procurement goddess, had managed to find all the liquor, flowers and decorations they could want. The boys did a grand job of hiding them around the apartment and ensuring that the er... purchases couldn’t be traced back to them.

All in all, it really looked as if they might be able to pull this off.


	3. Chapter 3

At oh-six-hundred, Shepard stepped aboard the Normandy. She carried her kit bag in one hand and in the other, a hanger attached to the clothes bag that trailed down her back. Behind her Miranda, Kasumi, Liara and Tali were similarly outfitted.

“You ok, Joker?” Shepard asked, making her customary turn to the left after coming aboard.

“Sure. You ready for the big day?” 

Shepard grinned. “Absolutely.”

“Joker, our shuttle is on approach. Are we clear?” Kaidan’s voice came crackling over the comm. 

Joker grinned. “You’d better get up to the loft, Commander.” 

Shepard nodded and hefted her kit bag more securely in her grip. “Copy that.” She stalked off towards the lift. 

Two hours later, Shepard had to give credit where credit was due. She looked amazing. Entirely down to Miranda’s efforts, since the only make up she knew how to do was the single line of eyeliner she habitually wore, and the only hairstyle she knew how to do was her usual ponytail. Right now, her eyes looked smoky and seductive and her hair was half pinned up in some magic way that framed her face perfectly. She looked better than she had ever looked before ever in her life and yet, somehow she did not look unlike herself. 

“Ah, Shepard,” Liara breathed. “You look like the goddess herself.” 

Shepard turned to face her, one quizzical eyebrow raised. “I look Prothean?” she questioned dryly. “Should I be marrying Javick then?” 

Liara blushed. “You know what I mean,” she said somewhat reproachfully. 

Shepard grinned. “I did. And thanks.” 

“Hey ladies, better get the blushing bride down here. Groom’s a-waitin’!” came Joker’s disembodied voice over the comm.

“Blushing bride, Joker? Really?” Shepard asked sarcastically. 

“Fine,” he replied, with an over-dramatic sigh. “Get the ass-kicking bride down here, we’re ready!” 

Shepard grinned and grabbed her bouquet. 

“Nervous, Shep?” Kasumi asked, straightening her fitted black and red bridesmaid dress. 

“Not even slightly.”

As the doors to starboard observation opened Shepard had to, once again, admit that she was impressed. The room was bathed in a soft glow. She had no idea how, since the only lights in evidence were the usual overhead ones, but it was perfect. Some kind of soft carpet had been laid along the centre of the room to mark the ‘aisle’ and small bunches of roses, red, similar to the ones she carried, had been pinned to the ends of the seating. 

At the end of the aisle, framed against the stars shining outside the window, was Kaidan, standing at his usual perfectly polished parade rest and dressed in a set of perfectly pressed dress blues (what else?), medals gleaming on his chest, dark brown eyes soft and warm and appreciative as they gazed at her. 

She really was the luckiest woman alive.

A hum of conversation greeted her as she stepped forwards. She caught James’ soft ‘damn Lola’ and Chakwas’ little sob and had just enough time to grin at her assembled crew before she was up by the window with Kaidan and Joker.

“Hi,” she said, having handed her bouquet off to Miranda. 

“Hey,” he replied, voice soft. He took both her hands in his. “And wow.” 

“Thanks.” She smiled. 

“You guys ready?” Joker asked.

“Absolutely,” Kaidan replied, though his dark, intense eyes never wavered from her own and she felt her heartbeat begin to unmistakeably race.

“Dearly beloved, psychopaths, mercenaries, thieves and generally crazy people...” Joker began. 

He had been ordained via the extranet some weeks earlier without either her or Kaidan knowing. She had no idea why in the galaxy he had wanted to officiate, but once he’d tentatively asked she hadn’t the heart to say no. Plus, this way it could be just the crew. Just those who had served aboard this fine vessel and no more. Exactly the way she’d wanted it. Still...

“Joker...” she said warningly. 

“What?” he asked, splaying his hands in an expression of faux innocence.

“He is technically correct, Shepard,” EDI interjected.

“Hey, I resent that,” Cortez added from somewhere at the back of the room. “I’m not half as crazy as Mr Vega here.”

“Ha! You just can’t handle crazy, Esteban,” James replied. 

“Go unbunch your panties, Vega,” Jack jumped in. “Your crazy ain’t got nothin’ on me.”

“OK!” Shepard snapped. “We’re all crazy, glad we figured that out. But perhaps we could get back to the reason we’re here before I have to start shooting?” 

Kaidan raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. “You’re armed?”

“Of course,” she replied. He took a half step back but didn’t release her hands. His eyes raked her figure, taking in the tight fit of her dress.

“Where?” he asked, raising his eyes to hers once again. 

She grinned wolfishly at him. “Be good, and I’ll let you find out later.”

“Ew! Too much info, Commander,” Joker said, holding his hands over scandalised eyes. 

“Everyone! We’re on a tight schedule, remember?” Miranda stepped into the centre. “Perhaps we could continue?” 

“Ok, ok,” Joker said. Miranda stepped back and Kaidan stepped forward once again. 

“Assembled crewmates,” Joker began again, shooting a ‘happy now?’ glance at Miranda. “We are gathered here today, in secret, so that these two can finally get hitched without all the political bullcrap.” 

“Hear hear!” came the general cheer.

“Since anyone who would dare to disagree with the union is liable to be shot, I assume that no-one can think of any reason why these two should not be joined?” 

Total silence greeted his question.

“Oooo…Ok then,” Joker said after a moment. “Kaidan, you first, repeat after me. I, Kaidan Alenko...”

“I, Kaidan Alenko, take thee, Sarah Shepard, to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, until death, via one of your crazy antics, do we part.” 

Shepard, eyes moist, laughed and punched him good-naturedly in the arm.

“Ow!” he chuckled. 

“Shepard?” Joker prompted. She swallowed. Her throat felt suddenly tight but when she spoke, her voice was clear.

“I, Sarah Shepard, take thee, Kaidan Alenko, to be my lawfully wedding husband.” Shepard had given many speeches in her time and many times the fate of the entire galaxy had rested on those speeches, and yet, none of them felt anywhere near as important as the words she had to say now. “To have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, until a peaceful death many many many years from now, do we part.” 

His smile widened. God he looked good when he smiled, she really was spectacularly lucky, all things considered.

“Garrus, I think you have the rings?” Joker said.

“Er...Right,” Garrus said, stepping forward and awkwardly fishing out the small black bag from his suit pocket. “Here.” He handed it to Kaidan. Kaidan tipped the rings into his palm and tossed her the larger one, a lopsided smile on his lips.

“Ladies first,” he said slyly. She grinned and took his left hand in her own.

“With his ring, I thee wed,” she intoned as she slid the ring onto his finger. When she once again raised her eyes to his they shone, and as he took her own left hand, she saw him swallow, hard, once and couldn’t resist squeezing his hand hard once. He squeezed hers back before sliding her own ring home.

“With this ring, I thee wed.” 

As one, they turned to Joker. He was staring at them, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. 

“By the power vested in me by the magic of the extranet. I now pronounce you Husband and Wife together.” He turned to Kaidan. “I suggest you kiss your bride.” 

“Thanks, man,” Kaidan replied sarcastically before pulling her unresisting form into his arms. One of his hands fell to her hip, the other stroked her cheek for a brief second before his soft lips met hers in the most tender kiss he had ever bestowed upon her. Dimly she heard the cheers of her crew somewhere in the distance before the thought we can do better than this skittered through her mind. She promptly moved her hand to the back of his head and used the leverage she now had to pull him into a proper kiss. He huffed a puff of laughter against her lips and the cheers of the crew got impossibly louder. When they broke apart moments later he was laughing, she was smiling, Joker was mid wolf-whistle, Chakwas was crying, Wrex was clapping Kaidan on the back, Liara and Kasumi were hugging her, Miranda was opening a bottle of champagne, James and Cortez were cheering...

And they were married. 

A champagne flute was pushed into her hand and soon everyone had one. There was cheering and hugging and crying and everyone was smiling and happy and free. She had never been happier in her entire life. 

Eventually, after half an hour or so, Miranda loudly clapped her hands. 

“Alright everyone, fun’s over; we’ve still got the circus to attend!”

“Good point,” Shepard agreed, draining the last of her champagne. “Let’s move out!” 

There was a general scurrying around for jackets and bags and things before everyone meandered towards the exit. Shepard set her champagne flute down, scooped up her bouquet and made to follow the girls out the door when his hand closed over her own.

“Two minutes,” he told the girls, pulling her into his arms. She watched them leave before turning her attention to him.

“So,” he said conversationally. “How are you enjoying today so far?” 

She shrugged. “So far, so good,” she said smiling up at him. 

He smiled back, his eyes unmistakably warm with affection. “I thought so too...wife.” 

She felt an explosion of warmth in the pit of her stomach at the title and, for just a second, forgot how to breathe.

“Husband,” she managed to reply. 

He smiled and kissed her softly, slowly but very very thoroughly. She felt herself melt into him and was privately very grateful for his arm around her waist because her knees were certainly no longer capable of supporting her. 

Then, they were, somewhat rudely in her opinion, interrupted by Miranda.

“We’re going to be late,” she snapped completely un-apologetically.

“Right.” Kaidan stepped away from her. “See you at the next altar, Shepard.” 

He left, pushing past Miranda as he did so. Shepard folded her arms across her chest and fixed Miranda with the harshest glare she could manage on a day like today.

“What?” Miranda said. “I’m not letting you be late.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Shepard, your hands?” Kasumi hissed as they stood outside the cherry tree garden below the council chambers.

“Right, right. Thanks.” Shepard repositioned her hands around her bouquet such that her left lay under her right, obscuring the ring that now sat there. As she traced the ring with the tips of her fingers, she felt an impossible smile bloom on her face. She was a married woman.

The garden was absolutely packed with an array of finely dressed people. Shepard wasn’t really able to distinguish any individuals before the various cameras and holoimagers started going off in her face.

Kaidan, when her eyes finally adjusted enough that she could actually see him, was standing at a cool parade rest up by the Asari priestess. As she got closer, she noticed that unusually his right hand was closed over his left, presumably in order to hide his own ring. He smiled at her once she’d reached him but otherwise didn’t move.

“Hi,” she said in a parody of their earlier greeting under similar circumstances.

“Hey,” he replied in turn. “And still wow.”

“Shall I begin?” the Asari priestess asked and then, after their nods to the affirmative, she launched into her speech. Their ceremony had been created by mixing the traditions of all council races. It had been deemed politically expedient at the time. Shepard didn’t pay too much attention to the ceremony itself. Mostly, because she was too busy staring at her new husband while her brain continually screamed HOLY FUCK WE’RE MARRIED.

There were some words she had to say, which were flowery and poetic and way over the top, and for some reason, Kaidan had to drive a wicked looking serrated blade into some sort of special stand. She had no idea why and didn’t really care.

When it came to the ring exchange, the ‘human’ part of the ceremony, they clasped left hands and Joker stepped forward with the empty ring bag held very visibly in his hand. Joker positioned himself in such a way as to block their hands from the camera and holoimagers and they both mumbled ‘with this ring, I thee wed’ again to make it look convincing. If the Asari priestess thought it was odd, she thankfully didn’t say anything.

After, there were pictures, so many pictures that Shepard’s cheeks soon started to ache from all the smiling. Someone pushed a drink into her hand. She drank it. It was fruity. There were a seemingly endless number of diplomats to talk to. Now and then, Shepard caught a glimpse of Asha herding people around in accordance to some plan or algorithm or something that Shepard wasn’t privy to and didn’t particularly want to be. Kaidan and the rest of her crew had long since been pulled from her side and into the throng, but every now and then her eyes would find his, and she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face when they did.

Eventually, they were pushed together and sat at the table. It wasn’t until the smell of food reached her nostrils that she realised just how hungry she was. Sadly for her stomach, the food was of the posh variety. As in, aesthetically pleasing, but with little in the way of substance. It was delicious, but gone in seconds.

Then they were herded onto the dance floor to perform the dance routine that Asha had drilled into Shepard during the many many _many_ rehearsals she had insisted upon. It would have been a nice opportunity to talk, or at least time to enjoy being in his arms, were it not for a) the thousands of cameras and spectators and b) the fact that the only way Shepard managed to perform the dance was by reading his physical cues.

It was like being in combat. In a hot zone she could tell, by the movement of his body, the tension in particular limbs, where he was moving to or what his plan was. The dance was no different, using the same skills she could tell by the way he moved, by the tension in particular limbs where he expected her to be or where she should be moving to. Problem was it required some kind of concentration, so no time for talking or enjoyment.

After the dance, there were more diplomats, more photos as the music volume and alcohol consumption increased exponentially.

Then, quite suddenly, Shepard looked up and it was just them.

Well, not quite just. Kaidan was still talking to some old lady who seemed intent on addressing him only  as ‘dear boy’, and the various clean-up crews were picking their way across the debris while giving the crew those particular nervous, shifty looks. The particular kind of look that indicated that they didn’t want to tell the legendary Normandy crew what to do, but at the same time were not happy about what said crew were doing.

Taking the hint Shepard stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply as soon as Kaidan had escorted the old lady to the door.

“So, good day everyone?” Shepard said brightly, as soon as they had assembled around her.

“Not enough fist fighting,” Wrex grumbled.

“And too many rich fuckers,” Jack added. “One of those old biddies threatened to knit me a sweater!”

“I think she was _offering_ , not threatening, Jack,” Miranda replied.

“Don’t fucking start, cheerleader.”

“What was with all the photos and holoimagers?” Tali piped up. “Your wedding will be broadcast from virtually every angle!” 

“And there was no cake,” Garrus whined. “I saw cake. It was huge. But I didn’t get any. I thought there’d be cake.”

“And not enough _romance,”_ Kasumi insisted.

“And definitely not enough food,” Kaidan interjected, appearing at Shepard’s side and wrapping an arm around her waist.

“I agree with you there, Maj,” Vega said.

“I could eat,” Traynor added.

“I know a good burger joint around the corner,” Jack suggested.

“Dextro friendly?” Garrus queried.

“Sure.”

“A burger sounds really good,” Miranda added.

There were general nods of agreement and then, as one they turned to Shepard.

“I’m game.” She shrugged. “Let’s go!”

And that was how they came to take over the small burger joint around the corner. Heedless of the other patrons, they re-arranged the tables such that they made one large table in the centre around which they could all sit.

Kaidan headed back from the counter and dropped the tray containing her double bacon cheeseburger in front of her. She was sure nothing had ever smelled so good in all her life. Both of her lives. She immediately popped the container open, took the burger in both hands and took a giant bite.

And the barbeque sauce promptly splattered down her dress.

Kaidan burst out laughing. Across the table, Garrus looked up at the sound, saw Shepard trying desperately to scoop the sauce up with her fingers and began laughing in turn. Pretty soon, the entire table was laughing at their sauce-splattered leader.

“Oh, shut up all of you,” she snapped good-naturedly, accepting the napkin from Kaidan’s outstretched hand.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you kept it clean for as long as you did, Shepard,” Miranda drawled, stifling her laughter.

“Yeah, and there hasn’t been an emergency or an explosion all day,” Joker added, taking another bite of his burger. “Fancy that!”

Shepard froze, her hand instantly gravitating towards the pistol hidden on her hip. In her peripheral vision, she caught Kaidan reaching into his jacket to retrieve his own pistol. The entire table went complete silent, sharing panicked looks.

“There’s no reports of any criminal activity,” Tali said, omni-tool active.

“Nothing on the C-Sec comms either,” Garrus added, mirroring Tali’s pose. Shepard nodded, accepting and trusting the information but her hand didn’t move from her pistol.

“Husband, dearest, I think it’s time we left for our honeymoon. Like, right now” she said.

“Good idea,” he agreed. They made a hasty exit from the burger joint and more or less ran to the transport hub, certain that they were operating on borrowed time.

“Take care of yourselves,” Shepard said once they reached the hub, giving out hugs, handshakes and high fives as appropriate.

“Don’t do anything _I_ wouldn’t,” Kasumi trilled, hugging Shepard back.

As Shepard boarded the shuttle and turned to wave one last goodbye to the crew, the inevitable explosion hit.

Kaidan sighed heavily. “Well, we had a good run,” he said, mechanically checking his pistol.

“And at least my dress is already ruined,” she added, doing the same.

Together they jumped back off the shuttle.

“All right everyone,” Shepard began. “Split into your teams and move out!”

The crew obeyed immediately, checking weapons and falling into line.

“We’re going on honeymoon after this right?” Kaidan murmured as they jogged along the walkway. She shot him a smile over her shoulder.

“Oh, _definitely.”_


End file.
